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Oct. 31st, 2013 @ 09:58 pm Jopetoberfest V: Week Five

Friday, October 25: Bad Milo! (2013)

Wrote a review of this one for 411, so I'm not repeating myself. But I really liked it!


Rating: ****

Saturday, October 26: Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie (1984)

Good news, I've found Donald Pleasance's worst movie! Why does this movie even exist? Who read this script and thought it was worth spending money on, let alone funny? There's not a single joke that works, if you can even call them jokes. I'm still not sure what was going on and I watched the damn thing. Granted, I had to turn it off in the middle and pick it up again later, but I watched it.

No hyperbole, this one may even be worse than DIEner (Get It?). At least that movie had something resembling a point. The only thing this has going for it is June Wilkinson walking around in skimpy outfits. But that's not really an advantage when I can see her nude with a quick Google search. No wonder Donald Pleasance stuck with the Halloween movies. Even 5 didn't get as bad as this movie.

Rating: ZERO Stars

Sunday, October 27: Venom (2005)

Voodoo movies don't really work for me, so I was really worried headed into Venom. The good news is that it's not really a voodoo movie. Voodoo plays a role, but this is mostly just a slasher movie with an undead killer. There are some good and bad aspects of this. The bad is that most of the cast are bland or unlikable. The CGI snakes are awful and as a slasher, it's very by the numbers with stalk sequences.

But there are some really good parts too. For example, I had no idea who was going to live or die. Sure, some of the early characters are disposible but there are others later on that you think may last longe, but they are offed quickly without any fanfare. I also like the fact that the killer was a good dude before he became possessed by pure evil and went on a killing rampage. It's a solid little slasher overall, nothing too good but if you're bored it's not bad movie to throw on.

Rating: ***

Monday, October 28: Tomie (1999)

I was actually looking forward to this because I'm a fan of Asian horror. When it comes right down to it, they've been doing horror films a lot better than Americans for some time. Revenge movies too, now that I think about it. But Tomie is a confusing, dull mess. The basic plot is that a girl named Tomie is killed, only to regenerate from her decapitated head. She then begins seducing a bunch of guys and causing them to kill each other.

None of the deaths are shown on screen, just referenced after the fact. Tomie herself isn't really all that attractive as the seducer and there's a lot of dull filler that comes out of nowhere. Finally there's a twist at the end that makes absolutely no sense. I've read about the series sense: apparently Tomie is an immortal being that regenerates from every cell cut off of her into a new version. That means she can never be killed and eventually the entire world will be Tomie. It's an interesting idea, but apparently she'd rather spend her time being a childish brat.

Rating: *

Tuesday, October 29: Fear (1996)

This was a solid little thriller! Sort of like Fatal Attraction but with a crazy Mark Wahlberg and his killer abs. I think the only weak point of the film is Reese Witherspoon, and that's more of a flaw with the writing than her performance. She has to be the dumbest teenager in film. She falls for some of the corniest lines and actions I've ever heard. None of these things would work in real life. Somehow Marky Mark weasels his way into her life by being completely insincere and she buys it.

However, once we get past that sequence, the movie begins getting crazier and crazier leading to a home invasion film at the very end. And the acting is pretty great. Wahlberg kills it, William Peterson is great, even Witherspoon is great once the script does her justice. Plus the bit with the dog really got to me. I really felt for that kid and cheered when he got his revenge later on. He's definitely going to need some therapy.

Rating: ***1/2

Wednesday, October 30: Ritual (2002)

This is more of an example of a voodoo film that doesn't work. I will say this in its favor, it had a good cast. Craig Sheffer is always awesome, as is Tim Curry. Jennifer Grey is incredibly likable and her character is written to be smarter than most horror movie heroines. I dig that. She doesn't fall into the damsel in distress mode and she manages to hold her own against various things in the movie. Give me smart, likable characters in my modern horror films, that's all I ask!

But the movie sort of falls off the rails after what is a great and gory opening sequence. It relies often on silly voodoo deaths and bad CGI when it shows it can pull off practical effects far better than it can the cheap CGI. While the end gets some bonus points for how it plays out, I lost interest at the halfway point and wasn't as invested anymore.

Rating: **

Thursday, October 31: The Manitou (1978)

I thought I'd close out this year's Jopetoberfest with one of the weirdest horror films ever made. Don't believe me? The movie begins with a woman who has a tumor on her neck. It's thought at first to be a fetus. On her neck. But don't worry, it's not a fetus. It's actually an Indian medicine man who is going to make himself reborn to punish the White Man with his mystical powers. Yeah, it's that kind of movie. And it only gets weirder from there.

This movie would definitely fail I think if at any point it didn't play the situation 100% seriously. Normally a ridiculous premise needs to be made tongue-in-cheek but this is one that treats it as serious as possible. It is helped by bringing on serious actors Tony Curtis and Burgess Meredith which add the story some credibility. The movie also has some great moments, such as when they try to remove the tumor early on, but the woman wakes up and begins chanting a different language that forces the surgeon to cut his own hand.

Even if this sort of movie isn't your bag, you really need to see it at least once. It's a really odd film that is very original and stands out from the rest.

Rating: ***1/2

Well, Jopetoberfest kind of sucked this year outside of a few finds. A lot of the movies were on these multi-film packs I have, which will be getting sold very soon. Until then, watch the magic pumpkin.

About this Entry
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Date:November 1st, 2013 06:27 pm (UTC)

GIANT-SIZE Hard-Traveling Fanboys!

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Cyke, Overcommitter, Rip_em, our pal Russell and I talk "The Death of Superman"!


Edited at 2013-11-01 06:28 pm (UTC)
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Date:November 1st, 2013 06:29 pm (UTC)


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"Fear" was really good! I dig Peterson in almost anything, and Marky Mark and Reese had good chemistry.
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Date:November 2nd, 2013 12:31 am (UTC)

Re: Fear

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It also only furthered my crush on Alyssa Milano.

It's also kind of a mix between Fatal Attraction and Cape Fear.
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Date:November 2nd, 2013 02:45 am (UTC)

Heat-Nets game

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Good game by the Nets and it shows how tough the Eastern Conference is this year. I like how LeBron is blocked cleanly by Paul Pierce and instantly look at the official looking for a foul call.
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Date:November 2nd, 2013 03:34 am (UTC)

Re: Heat-Nets game

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I'd mock the Heat for being 1-2, but my Cavs lost to the Bobcats so I'm going to be busy weeping.